Why do some Christian women act un-Christian to other ladies in the church?

by Anonymous

Hi Tia,

I go to church and say hi to several of the ladies and they just look right past me, like if I'm not even there. When I try to engage in them in a small conversation, they're not interested. Sometimes, I feel they think they are too important and I should treat them as such, instead of my equal. I have found my self doing that at times, and well, its not me. I'm sorry, but I have come to the conclusion if someone can't even give a small hello, but instead wants to avoid eye contact for fear of engaging in a conversation, or just a hello, than they are not worth it. The funny thing is when they need financial help (for mission work) they don't have a problem asking, over and over. I find this hypocritical. I'm good enough to support them, but not good enough to just say hi, how are you today, that's too simple. What are you're thoughts. And please don't tell me to keep tying, because I just can't - it hurts too much. Just a note, these women who have treated me this way have been at this church for a long time, they are like family. Others the older elderly ladies are more accepting and are the one's that are the friendlier.
Thanks for your help.

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Anonymous:

My grandmother used to say to her children and grandchildren you do not attend or join a church for the man. By that she meant that it is not the pastor or congregation that should keep us coming to church, but keep attending a church for the word and teaching of God. More fitting to your situation, it is not the congregation that secures us in a church. What secures us in a church is the teaching of the scripture and how we apply it to our own lives.

It is impossible for me to know the details at your church, because I am not there with you. However, I can tell you that I have felt alienated before in a church, on a job, in a family, etc. Unfortunately it is one of those uncomfortable moments in our many human experiences. When I felt this way I had to consider from where this feeling was coming and what could I do from the inside out.

First, seek God when nothing makes sense. When I felt I was overlooked or alone, I began to seek more Bible time and more prayer time. Next thing I knew, I was feeling more complete within. With time I smiled, genuinely smiled, no matter what was going on around me. With even more time, I noticed more smiles and greetings that I had not even noticed before.

Although I do not have a leadership role, I reach out to new faces at my church. Sometimes it is a smile other times a conversation. It is very little we can do to control or analyze the deeds of others, but there is so much we can do to let our light shine. Good will starts with us.

As women, we are so busy and often distracted by the many people for which we care. Your question was a timely reminder for me to continue to make deliberate attempts to reach out. I plan to join a small group for women at my church in the near future. I truly believe that the younger women you wrote about are not aware of how they may be impacting you. Pray for answers. I am so sure that God will lead you.

In the mean time, continue to enjoy your time and growth in God at home and at church. The acknowledgement you and I really need is well provided in intimate time with God.

Psalm 112:5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice.

Tia