A Christian Women's Website

Perfectionists or Disciples?

For as long as I can remember, I have been a perfectionist.

I still remember the day I got a "straight face" on my paper in kindergarten. I was devastated the whole day and cried when I got home. Which is more pathetic, the fact that it was that important to me, or the fact that I still remember it today?

I shared this character flaw one day in Sunday school, and the room erupted with agreement as women confessed their own similar struggle.

Our leader seemed to be taken by surprise for a moment, and then said, "You women really struggle with this perfectionist thing, don’t you?"

Yes, we do. We are always striving.

There is a positive side of being a perfectionist; it doesn't take us long to realize our need for grace.

Perfectionism doesn't mean you think you are perfect. Perfectionism means that you are always very aware of how short you are falling. In this mindset, it is easy to walk right down the Romans Road without hesitation.

So we realize we need grace, that we get it freely from Jesus, and we invite him to free us.

Then what?

Sadly, many of us turn around and pick right back up at the striving point, ready to earn the freedom and salvation we have already been given. We may even start to look for the "good life" we are expecting to have now that we are Christians.

We are meant to yield fruit from our salvation, but this fruit should not be a self-centered practice in earning grace or adding to our comfort.

Our fruit should be the outpouring of love and grace to others.

Read James 2:14-26.

Yes, our faith should produce works, but what kind of works? I don't see anything about keeping a spotless house, spotless kids, and a picture-perfect life. James is chastising Christians for sending those who need clothes and food off with well-wishes instead of clothes and food.

You know, the "I'll pray for you" version of caring.

Now if you have read through my section on prayer, you know that I do not take it lightly. However, when God places someone in front of us with a need that we can fill, he expects us to act. That is what we are here for. And don't try to tell me you have actually prayed for everyone you have sent off with that phrase.

Are we insulting Jesus by trying to make our lives perfect while his sheep go hungry all around us?

Please step out of your dressed up Sunday school world for a minute and look at the actual life of Jesus on earth.

He was always with the losers. He was always extending love and grace to the undeserving. He walked right up to people who were used to being ignored, looked them in the eyes, and spoke to them sincerely.

Jesus was gossiped about in the "church crowd" for hanging out in sinful places and having conversations with disgraceful people. Quite honestly, when someone lives like this today, they are usually an outcast in the church.

We have got to hold each other accountable on this.

We have got to get out of "church socialite" mode, roll up our sleeves, and start working hard for Jesus.

Let's stop praying for more perfect circumstances in our lives and start praying that Jesus would show us the sheep he wants us to care for. Sure, we may be a little lost on where to start; but when we ask, we will receive.

I wonder what exciting things will happen as more women in the church decide to stop being perfectionists and start being disciples.

How do you practice letting go of perfectionism?

Do you have ideas and tips on how to let go of perfectionism? Share them here.


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Perfectionism Resources

Discipleship Resources